I've never, to my knowledge, taken meds for my bipolar disorder, but I have had these feelings many times. I think, in reality no one is meant to feel those extreme emotions for more than short periods of times, so having those episodes just makes everything else, like feelings that should be"normal", just feel numb or neutral

For years I've been treated with lithium, at first I felt like you. I started the treatment after a manic attack of several months in which I felt like I was on top of the world, fulfilling myself, it's an addictive feeling. Over time, through long treatment with my psychiatrist, I realized that the manic experience is so extreme that it is impossible to try and compare our life to it, there is happiness and there is joy and they are real and present, but just the right amount :)

The feelings you describe sounds like you are balanced right now, without episodes of either mania or depression. It’s a new feeling for you. I suggest you try psychotherapy, to talk about such feelings so you can learn how to deal with them.

Your comments really help to normalize my feelings.. thank you!

For me, I was recently put on Lamictal and ever since I haven't had a depressive or manic episode (which used to cycle in hours for me). Now I feel kind of numb also, but you have to think about how manic episodes are so extreme that that feeling is not intended to happen and how that feeling is not experienced to someone who does not have BPD. I hope this helps!

It does Axe, thanks!

I’m right there with you. I have been on lithium for almost 3 years, but have to also take Prozac to manage my depression. This is NOT typically recommended as SSRIs trigger mania in bipolar patients. However, after trying lots of other antidepressants in the years before I was accurately diagnosed, and recently being in treatment and trying to replace Prozac with seroquel for the depression, I have realized that the Prozac is a must for my brain chemistry. BUT I also discovered that lithium, proZac, and seroquel together are the magic combination for me. I feel stable for the first time I can remember in my life. And it’s weird. I have spent the past month exploring this with my therapist, journaling, drawing, and hiking (the forest is my happy place) trying to adjust and work through the discomfort it is bringing. Now that I’m talking about it, I think I might make some lists—what certain activities or experiences felt like before and how they feel now. What are the pros and cons of each

I will also add that except for one depressive episode every 3-4 months, I basically cycled between mania and hypomania—baseline was such a distant memory that I couldn’t place the last time I was there. So I have no concept of “normal” for anything.

I also found Prozac as the best solution for my depression. But unlike you, the combination that works best for me is Prozac with Olanzapine. This combination has kept me balanced for a few years, and my episodes are few and far between.

BumPancreas86, thank you for sharing!! Sounds like quite a journey you’ve been through!

✋ 💕

I have been on lithium for almost 10 years and can definitely can relate. There is a certain numbness I feel as well and I often weight the pros and cons of taking it. I will take the numbness over feeling way too much and hurting all the time.

Yes I can definitely identify with this feeling of numbness. Like JJcharney, i am on lithium for more than 10 years and for me this feeling of numbness is better than the rollercoaster i felt before..