I don't have an IUD (because I'm also afraid of the pain) but I've found the progesterone based birth control shot (one shot, every three months) has not had a negative effect on my lupus and is an incredibly effective birth control method

Tell your boyfriend to wear a condom then. It does not have to be solely your responsibility or (use vaginal condoms). IUDs affect every person differently. I have personally had 2. First after the birth of my son at 18. No more pain than having your pap done. However, after having it removed and I had precancerous cells removed via a leep procedure (aka cutting the effected area of my cervix) 6 years after that the implantation of the IUD and my cervix was the most painful thing even surpassing childbirth and the pain was severe for 6 months until I had it removed.

Do not let your boyfriend pressure u into anything that’s disgusting he can wear a condom iud can be excruciating and traumatic so don’t get it unless u r the one who absolutely wants it, you can talk to the doctor about pill options for you there’s different kinds but if he doesn’t want to wear a condom then that’s stupid he needs to get over it all female birth control has extreme risks he shouldn’t want that for you over wearing a condom, I have lupus and I’m on the pill and haven’t been told to come off personally and haven’t had any issues yet but that’s just my experience I’m on cilique

I have Lupus and developed severe pulmonary emboli a couple of months after starting the pill (35 years ago). I used a diaphragm and spermicidal cream successfully after that. A condom increases effectiveness also.

I have lupus and an IUD for quite a while now. No serious issues yet 🤞🏻 But it does hurt when they insert it that is very true it was a lot worse than I thought it would be…and there is cramping after too but with that being said I think I will replace when it’s time with a new one as long as the dr said it’s ok 👌🏻

Please do what feels what is right for you and tell your boyfriend to kock rocks. It is your body your choice not his on what type of birth control you choose. I personally have heard many horror stories about the iud, I have been on the pill since I was 18, I am turning 40 this year. My rhuemetologist is fine with me being on the pill as I have other problems with bleeding heavily. Just make sure to speak with your ob and rhuemetologist to decide what is the best option for you.