I'm sorry that's happening to you but I get that, what I recommend is breathing exercises. Also, in my experience managers don't mind too much if you need a minute to get away

I usually write down what I will say on the phone & get things together to plan ahead from work or getting out of the house. I have also gotten to a point to where I would call in sick due to anxiety but it’s not totally bad to take a breather like everyone else. Getting planned day by day usually helps me hear towards a better day.

You can do this! I feel the same way, my ocd triggers at work but you have to push through it, you’re stronger than your ocd will ever be.

I think speaking to an hr representive can help and talking to people who you think will understand about if you ever need a break and to decomprsss if they don’t understand then that’s on them and not you, the right people will understand and help rather than judge and that’s always something to look for in an employer

I recomend closing your eyes and envisioning yourself somewear calm then breath 3 times slow, that helps me

I see you also take buspirone. though it helps, given your backstory, you may need assistance? I recently found out I have ptsd and now I take sertraline with my buspirone and it’s the best combo I’ve ever had. After 10 years of med hunting, I used to cry and freak out before work and I’d make up fake excuses as to why I couldn’t go into work. Now my mental has been the best it’s ever been!