Thank you for your kind words. I was beginning to think nobody was on this site. I understand about people who take advantage of others for personal gain. Being vulnerable makes one an easy mark. In this time of desperation, more people than not will engage in inscrupulous behavior to try to get to the other side of "poverty". It's amazing how high the "poverty" line is these days. That and the amount of people whose sole intention is to become filthy rich with the least amount of effort, is reaching epic proportions. Heck, these people only have one goal in life, and that's to become rich. Anyway, I hear what you're saying. I just crave intimacy. I will never dishonor the memory of my best friend and life partner, it's just that the loneliness becomes overwhelming. I feel lonely in a room full of people. Where I am not religious, (religion is the number one reason for war, more than any other) I believe in the spirit. I believe Jesus died for our sins. I believe in a higher consciousness. I just don't turn my attention that way, as much as I probably should. I really don't have an avenue other than myself. I don't talk to priests due to my thinking them to be nothing but hypocrites. Some of the worst kind of people out there consider themselves Christian. Like the people I described in that first paragraph. Thank you for reaching out. It means more to me than you may know.