On advice for starting therapy - Find a therapist that is patient and is willing to listen and work with you. A therapist that pushes you, invalidates you, or doesn't show any interest in your growth is not a therapist you want. Working with my CPTSD & personality disorder has definitely required a lot of patience of medical workers. You know you find the right one when they're grateful of your good days when you do feel like opening up and have more to share but understanding of your bad days and when you are not quite ready or open.