I’ve discovered very recently that intonation and more-than-slight facial expression in conversation where I’m not super hyped drains me. I didn’t think so for a while, plus all that internalized ableism made me say “not enough to counteract the lack of this one” to my myriad other autistic traits. (Body language is not something that drains me. I enjoy it. It’s been a special interest since I was very small.) But now that I’ve noticed… hrm. It’s like, on one hand, it’s good to know this about myself, I think. But OTOH, I don’t like it. It makes me uncomfortable. I feel like I *want* to want to do that (repetition intended). But maybe that’s just the years of doing so? The internalized ableism? General societal pressure? Wanting people to understand what I’m trying to communicate?? I don’t know…. Did anyone else experience this? How did you approach it? Did anything help you to either come to terms with it and stop camouflaging it so hard; or if you chose the other way, to help you continue to do it without putting so much strain on you?