Ok I was in basically the same situation 2 years ago. My mom has been in special Ed for almost 20 years and she has NPD so she thinks she knows everything. And to her credit she does know a lot about how to take care of fragile bodies. I have had my doctor blatantly out right tell her (at my request) that I do infact have adhd and ocd and other conditions that DO qualify as physical and mental disabilities. (She gets pissed when I tell her I’m not able bodied like her). She still refuses to believe that anxiety and adhd runs in our family when me, my brother (27 with a child that has adhd as well) and her have it and she AGREES there is a huge difference in my brothers behavior and demeanor when he’s on and off medication. But no. Because she’s been in special Ed for so long she’d know if any of us had any disorders. It also took her watching me having seizures for 2 years then pushing me over in the snow during one to believe that I MIGHT not be faking them. I assume your relationship is better than ours but as I am now a special Ed teacher in my 3rd year I’m realizing autism and adhd are much more common than anyone would ever thing.

Bring it up with your doctor next time they'd have to do an evaluation. I thought I had adhd and got autism instead. I was 85% sure it was adhd. 15% wasn't sure but knew it was something

I have epilepsy. My specialist told me that taking Anti-epilepic drugs during childhood can lead to autism and other issues (unfortunately not a lot of studies, definitely a gap in epilepsy research.) It's 100% worth looking into. Even if it just for peace of mind. After all epilepsy itself can be difficult to deal even if it is your epilepsy your doctors might be able to suggest things to help. Good luck on your journey 🙏

Ahhh my parent used to work in special education and would constantly tell me that I’m not autistic, only to at least once a day go “Do I have to treat you like one of my kids at school? Use your words please” like if you have to treat me like one of them it’s probably because I am like them 🙄

Honestly that's kind of a toss up without looking into it really really closely. Autism and Epilepsy are both comorbidities and also share symptoms. If you're Autistic you're more likely to also have Epilepsy and vice versa, but it doesn't mean you necessarily do and symptoms can be incredibly similar. I've heard stories of people who were diagnosed with both epilepsy and Autism getting frontal lobe surgery and having almost no symptoms, not even the ones that were previously attributed to autism. However it's more than possible you're also seeing or more specifically experiencing symptoms in yourself that your mom doesn't see. I would suggest looking at the symptoms of each and shared symptoms including less common symptoms to compare and then bring it up to your doctor or psychologist if you still feel it fits.