You can message me if you wanna talk about anything (: I’m always open

Hi! I kinda went through a similar journey of self diagnosing. When I was 17 I went into therapy for the first time cuz I had been having really intense mood swings for the past couple of years and it finally was coming to a head and they wanted to diagnose me then and there, told me to track my mood but like two weeks later I went into the worse manic episode ive had (was almost considered a missing person) then crashed two months later and completely forgot about everything that had happened in those two months. TWO YEARS go by and I haven't noticed anything that bad except mild ups and downs but my bf at the time had BD and started sharing his experience and all of the sudden I start remembering everything, the impulsivity, the lack of sleep, high energy, euphoria so I started looking up everything I could about BD and it all started making sense. However, cuz I wasn't presenting as manic, just depressed so my psychiatrist and my therapist weren't really taking me seriously but eventually I found a therapist who did took me seriously and I was able to get a diagnosis. I went through a whole year after diagnosis doubting that I actually had bipolar cuz I had never been hospitalized and no psychiatrist or therapist had seen me manic, I still doubt it every once in a while today. Also you've probably already read about it but there's a few different types of bipolar and if you feel like your episodes haven't been full blown mania, you'll probably relate more to type 2 or cyclothemia. If you haven't read about those I would check it out, just research it as much as possible and find a therapist/psychiatrist who is willing to listen to your experience sorry for the essay text but I know what you're going through 💙

There is Bipolar 1 and Bipolar 2. Bipolar 2 you don’t really have ‘wild episodes’. For me, I would clean and paint all night and would talk quickly or in a nonsensical manor. I never had anything crazy happen. What affected me most was the depression. Bipolar isn’t just mania or hypomania, it pairs with depression. And for me I got much more of the depression than anything else. Definitely talk to your GP and be honest in answering questions. I would encourage you to look into a psychiatrist (and your GP may too) as Bipolar is a more complicated disorder. Your university may even have a psychiatrist that you can see, universities (at least in the US) have a good amount of mental health resources, it’s just about utilizing them, I do wish you the best of luck anf my message box is always open.