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catdad22

Updated 1y ago

How to Communicate Extreme Exhaustion to Your Partner?

I could use everyone’s insight and perspective on something. If your normal is a moderate level of exhaustion, how do you differentiate to people you are close to (i.e. partners) when you are exceedingly exhausted? For current context, I’m at a wedding that started at 4:30 p.m. and is expected to probably go until at least 2 or 3. It is also an hour away from where we live. I’ve been here for 5 hours and every part of me is struggling. I can’t even get myself to stand right now, might head is pounding, I feel somehow dizzy and unbalanced, and my brain feels like it’s moving in slow motion. I didn’t go into that level of detail because it was loud, but I said no to going to the dance floor for those reasons. My partner knows I have social anxiety, so I think that in spite of my saying that it was because of physical things, they may have thought it was largely anxiety-driven. I explained that I was exhausted, and they said that I should get up so I wasn’t thinking about it since that’s what keeps them going when they’re tired. I know you just got a small snippet of our relationship, but my partner is truly supportive I’m so many ways. What are your thoughts on how to possibly explain this blind spot in their actions?

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AMWes

2y

To explain my fatigue to my close friends and mom, i used the video game energy bar example. Like in stardew valley, the more experience you get and the more you level up, the bigger your energy bar is. My friends don't have chronic fatigue, so I said it was like I was just starting a stardew valley farm and they have maxed out their energy. I don't know if it makes sense typed out but it really helped me explain it to my mom and friends.
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dream6284

2y

For me, I can tell my partner I'm out of spoons and he will get me out of there.... or I can tell him I'm in physical pain and we will leave. I don't know if either of those help, but they're potential ways of getting out of there.
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Lani_Girl

2y

😥😥😥😥 You poor thing 😥😥😥😥 I know how you feel
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Terp

2y

I also use the energy bar analogy with my family. They know if I am under any kind of stress(such as being around a large crowd) that my "energy bar" depletes quicker. You can look up the Spoonie Theory online and find a story that also helps explain fatigue to healthy people. Hope this helps!
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Torriblaidd

2y

I have been very upfront and clear about how I am feeling anytime someone asks me. Explaining in detail how I am, relating it to experiences they may have had to understand what it feels like in that moment. Certainly it doesn't solve every time but saying I'm tired vs saying "I feel like Mike Tyson has taken me four times through the ring after I got done running a marathon" seems to work better... Though it is hyperbolic
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catdad22

2y

Thanks, everyone. This has given me some ideas for talking to my partner. I appreciate it.

The content in this post is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.

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