Don't let pain get the better of you. I have them thoughts as well, but i fight through it and am never going to let pain win

I try my best to find small positives in my diagnoses and symptoms. I am taking better care of myself than when I was healthy because I need to. I’m more conscious of what my body needs and how I spend my time. I have more joy in my life now because I stopped saying yes to things out of obligation and use the energy and low pain times I have to do things I want to do things that bring me joy. I still struggle and have bad days physically and dark thoughts, but much less than when I first got sick. I hope you can find a small silver lining to give you strength when hard days happen. Always happy to talk if you want.