I know what you mean being intimate when your in pain. I want to but it's hard to deal with. You want to but you don't want pain afterwards. Sorry I don't have anything helpful but your definitely not the only one that feels like this.

It's something I've struggled with for so many years. And now that my pain has gotten worse, my boyfriend and I both initiate less. I wish I knew what to do too. I'm sorry I don't have a solution either, I just thought it might make you feel less alone if you knew you weren't alone. Good luck!

I have been struggling a lot for years too. It is not easy. Even though they know it, they can see your pain. If I break my arm, people will see I am in pain but our pain is a ghost. It is easy for them to "forget" we are in pain. It is impossible for us to forget it.

I have found that having a open and honest conversation with a partner can really help, also intimacy can be so many different things, holding hands, a hug. sexual intimacy is important as well but it’s not the be all and end all.

Sometimes you have to say no to having sexual intercourse. You can still do other stuff with them without you having to climax. But if you don't feel up to anything at all. Then just say "no I'm sorry I am in a lot of pain, maybe later okay?" You can't force yourself, which I am sure you know, but if it really bothers you talk to them about it. Maybe they just need to self climax? Don't beat yourself up about something you can't control hun.