I mean I suffer with this same shit. Hardcore. All I know is I’ll communicate my problems to the other person (maybe not the ones about not having feelings for them) but definitely ones where I obsess over their feelings and stuff. If they’re a good partner, they should reassure you. It can be nearly impossible for us to self soothe, and I also would like to know how to do such a thing.. but usually I have to back away from what I’m obsessing over and focus on something else, maybe get another point of view (that one usually helps the best)