Hello! So I am very unsure of my symptoms or I guess just the way my brain thinks and I don’t need a label on it but I just want to know some of your thoughts. I kind of want to bring it up with my therapist but I am very unsure. I am 17 years old, rising high school senior, and I have always felt quite left out from others. From what I have realized most recently is that my mom and I are similar in this : hard time really socializing, I honestly just can’t look someone I don’t know well in the eyes at all, and I don’t feel like I make the “correct” facial expressions when I react to someone (people always say to me “oh I was just joking” even though I knew they were joking, like my face was blank in “confusion” even though consciously I knew it), and I especially suck at saying the right thing or anything at all. When I try to respond, I just don’t know how to, so I usually stick with a grunt if they don’t require a response (i also get TERRIBLE brain fog from my other conditions so it’s not so surprising) and I don’t know how to regulate my voice (I speak too quietly and people can never hear me, or I accidentally get too loud and I feel bad). My step mom and my dad have NEVER understood my line of thought, all they have wanted from me is to socialize, they kept trying to push learning how to drive onto me which terrifies me (I am getting better with it though) and getting a social job (like dealing with customers) which is way worse cause I know I couldn’t handle people who get angry or yell at me (I’d probably break down). My mom has always understood me, both of my sisters don’t really get me either, but that’s why I am so close to my mom since we are so similar. At school, my friends always just complain about classes and learning, while I might get nervous and annoyed with some teachers and the way they teach, I love the content. I love the learning. I currently am super into biology and chemistry (mainly because I am interning in a lab where we build nanosensors and want to understand) and I like collect books (of all kinds of topics and fiction and non fiction). No one I know does any of this. It’s kind of strange to me to think that it could be related to my social anxiety, but I swear no one else I know with a passion want to “just go for it” and learn it now rather than later. Admittedly my other chronic issues puts me at a disadvantage when I want to learn because of exhaustion and demotivation during periods of depression or just major stress, but really when I am able to I pick up a textbook or something unrelated to regular schooling and try to learn it. I do process sometimes slower than other kids I’ve noticed in my AP classes and such which bothers me sometimes, but I’d rather have the passion and motivation to learn than the quickness to. Should I bring these feelings of uncertainty and “out of placeness” with my therapist? I mean I don’t care to fit in all the time but I honestly just wanna understand better. Thanks :)