I have felt depersonalized continually since a loved one's suicide. I can have a lot of difficulty identifying my own emotions and sensations. The question I'm trying to ask is: if I have been depersonalized for so long, how will I indentify when I return to a 'normal'? As well, if depersonaliztion is a defense mechanism to protect me because I have experienced pain in the past, how do I communicate to my brain that all is safe and it's time to stop fighting? I desperately want to stop fighting.