Honestly no one understood my eating disorder at all (I have ARFID) so I turned it into a joke. Not a self depricating one but one that made people recognize its an actual issue but also not feel like they have to tip toe or be worried. Examples of my jokes are things like a friend asking "how's your food" and I say "probably lovely but my subconscious says it's roadkill" Someone will ask about my food and I'll just respond with "I have an eating disorder, that's offensive" I don't do this constantly but when my ED is affecting me I'm honest about it in a lighthearted way like my first example or just a simple joke to remove any worry of talking about food. Another thing is talking about your victories. I would have a really hard fear food and I'd be like "bro I drank lemonade for the first time again yesterday" Find ways to include it and normalize it (not as in okay but like not something to feel so bad about or make no sense) rather than make it an elephant you're trying to hide

thank you so much. i will see if this works