I don't actually know a percentage. I just know that I'm better with my medication and without it I cry all the time and I think about suicide. I made a promise to myself and to my children. Although I didn't tell them the promise I made. In February 2001 I lost my mom. She died of "natural causes." Her death certificate listed as cause as heart and diabetes as a secondary cause. There was absolutely no suicide. But as I experienced the pain and grief of this loss, I came to have a complete realization of the fact that most likely I would precede them in death. I was absolutely certain that my children would be heartbroken when I passed away. They would go through many of the same feelings of pain and regret that I had gone through by loosing my mother. And I knew that I could not and would not add the pain and grief of adding a suicide to all of it. And I never will. In the summer and fall of 2019, I went through a very deep depression. I remember one day, standing in my kitchen, speaking out loud, "I can understand suicide!" You see, I was going through real mental anguish, but I still had no desire to end my life. I remembered, at some level, the promise I had made. And I took the higher road, and now, I'm grateful that I did. And I know, intensely, that my life has been blessed beyond measure.