I have a similar problem. Usually it depends on where I am in my hormone cycle so if it's similar you can find out what days to avoid it. As for replacements I've found if I make hot coco with just a little bit of coffee and add less every day I can switch to coco without my brain throwing a fit about it. Breakfast teas are also good if you still need caffeine but be careful as some of them might also trigger the same issues because of their caffeine content.