Hi Brenna- It’s great to meet you. You are exactly my daughters age. I bring this up because she to has fibromyalgia. She found out at 15 years old. Her definition = Life-over. (But Really it’s not.) I was completely devastated for her, because I know exactly how someone feels finding out you have a life changing disease at 15 years old. She’s already had so many ups and down, and she’s so young. ( I got so tired of that sentence. But your so young. Eye roll.) it never means life ends, you just need to learn to adjust and find more creative the way for you to live life now. And if need be, It’s ok to be in slow mode.
No need to hurry take your time. (take your time to smell the roses as they used to say)
Though as her mom I find I’m way more understanding and empathetic about what she’s going through because I’ve walked that path myself. And I’m way more knowledgeable now then ever. So when someone says well what’s wrong with her/or me or You/she doesn’t look sick. (That one gets old too and another eye roll) but That’s when I get to explain our invisible Illness/disease and shed some much need light on Fibromyalgia and other Illnesses/diseases that go hand in hand. It’s actually shocking how many people never heard of it. Mind blowing I know, but I had to recall I grew up in a family of no health problems. So it sheds new light -people need an introduction to my illness/disease. And here I am to let them know all about it: Most become a little more understanding.
I was adopted. My adoptive mother was a kind, loving, gentle and nurturing person. (I hit the jackpot on mom’s!) She never suffered any illnesses or took medications. And no one else in my adoptive family did either. She held my hand through everything even when no else did believed me.
My mom went to doctors appointments as an advocate all the way into my 40’s. No one even knew what fibromyalgia was or even had a name for it when it all started did me I went many years undiagnosed. I’m definitely glad there has been sone medical advancements since then.
I do have to say I found my purpose when I had kids. My life and focus changed. Every ounce of energy I had went to my children. Even when I was sick. I still thought if I have to lay in bed well we can read a book or watch a thunderstorm or just listen to the rain together. (The small things matter) You really get creative ideas of what you can still do even while sick in bed.
The most unfortunate downside to being sick was my condition wasn’t getting any better and my children endured the trauma of seeing their mother being wheeled out several times in an ambulance not knowing if they would ever see me again. No matter how hard we tired to shelter this from them they just knew their kids and kids know when somethings wrong. (We told the truth, when they asked questions but did our best to answer in an age appropriate manner) That’s my most heartbreaking experience. So back to the motivation, at 27 I had my first child. I felt I would have way more patience for both a child and my illness, boy was I right and glad I waited because it’s hard, nobody tells you anything about a baby that never stops crying (colicky baby) or sleepless nights because of fibromyalgia and then you have to try and balance such a load. But it definitely helped me take the focus off myself and what I was going through constantly. So it was ok because I was busy to busy to think about being sick, if that makes sense. I took my kids to the park, practices, picked them up after school I tried to make life as normal as I possibly could. Looking back I ask myself how ? Where did I find the energy ? I don’t really know, you just find it within yourself. It’s a drive I had never had before. (Grateful for it, I still don’t know where ever it came from.) Before I could barely get out of bed everyday. But now I have a little person who solely depends on me - and that changes everything. Now I will not lie there were days I had to call in reinforcements to help. There’s no shame in asking for help ever! You do you and only what you can handle is what I tell my kids. I won’t judge you. That’s just a tiny bit of my story.
I honestly think there are just points in life we get to, and sone depend on where we are in our Illnesses/diseases. I see it from time to time with my daughter and I’ll be like “Oh, I remember what that was like or “Oh I’m sorry you have to go through this part. But where ever you are in your journey through your illnesses/disease learn to be kind to yourself, Say nice things to yourself, and always listen to yourself when your tired or need a nap take one. This isn’t a easy journey by any means it’s definitely a character builder find some humor along the way too, it’s good for the soul.
Best wishes, and hugs right back at you!
Mischlene