You don't have to "feel" autistic for it to be legit. Living with it can be difficult, but it can be rewarding if you're willing to try. Life itself, regardless of HFA, is confusing and difficult. But it can also be a beautiful experience. Take it one day at a time, you have plenty of time to work on yourself

The usage of the words "high/low-functioning" are being vehemently fought against and phased out by both the clinical and diagnosed communities related to Spectrum Disorders. The fact that you even used the term you did, or mentioned that you "don't feel autistic" because you enjoy some social interaction, goes to show that your perception of the condition, most likely as shaped largely by your clinician, is out of date with research and largely false, objectively. The terms which refer to folks who have "some autistic traits or characteristics" but do not score "highly" enough on certain quotient exams to "qualify as autistic" (though may still me neurodivergent) is "aspie/s," which is a direct reference to the outdated term your clinician labelled you with (more on that to follow). 🙂 The term for folks who display almost/no neurodivergent traits is "allistic." 😌 There are many, many uncountable autists and aspies who enjoy plenty of different kinds of social interaction, some of them even basing their entire lives off of it. A phrase which may help you which you may not have heard before, but has become something of a trope within the community, is: "if you've met one autist, you've met one autist." It's clearly directed toward the idiom "if you've met one , you've met them all" in direct opposition to the idea, because all of the spectrum disorders are such subjective cases in relation to the actual experience and traits possessed by the person in question. Every case must be treated individually, which is why they (the clinicians who wrote the DSM-V) got rid of the different, separate, definitions and clinical terms for "types" of autism, and instead put them all together as a generalized description of an array of traits and experiences, and called the new condition "spectrum disorder." This was directly following a case study where a bunch of allistics, and autistic folks with clinical diagnoses, or gathered to be put through evaluations by many different practitioners. The end result was that ★no one single autistic person was given the same diagnosis by even two separate clinicians,★ uncovering the fact that we still don't quite know what exactly is going on with this condition, but we are definitely perpetuating confusion and misdirection of the actual topic at hand, possibly doing many people harm in the process, and most definitely the field itself. The term you used is part of one of the old clinical terms for a sub-type of autism, referred to as "Asperger's Syndrome" or "High-Functioning Autistic." You might want to get a new psychiatrist if their diagnosis and its direct or extrapolated implications make you feel badly. Especially so if they make you feel less-than what you naturally are. 💔 They're blatantly not keeping up-to-date with research or material if they labelled you that term, as it doesn't exist clinically anymore. Most things outside the last 5 years can be essentially disregarded. This is one area of science where it truly matters to be absolutely up to date. Research, and development, regarding autism has made large strides in the last 5 years, and I have even read things myself only 8 years old still using the terms "mentally retarded" and "defective/s" in reference to autistics. Not sure about you, but that's definitely not how I want my therapist looking at me with their educational background. I mean all of this in the greatest way with the most love for you and your life experience, and possible acceptance of and love for the traits which make you, you. 💕 Please don't perceive my very-typically Autistic matter-of-fact delivery as disrespect or condemnation. ♡ Feel free to DM any time. I have literally given up everything in my life for the past 5 months to actively face my mental and physical health head-on, with three teams of clinicians comprising now 6 separate humans who all interact with me on a weekly basis. I'm most definitely not calling myself an expert, but I'm also most definitely stating that this is a large focus and passion of my life, and I wish to help anyone who feels alone or unsure of themselves in their own journey to find the validation and peace within which I have.

I've had a couple call centre jobs and worked in some extremely open kitchens, so I've a learned filter 😅 but it's hard to maintain sometimes so I feel ya