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verasama's Post

verasama

Updated 1y ago

Managing Anxiety While Making Phone Calls

does anyone have any advice for managing anxiety while making phone calls? I absolutely hate making phone calls, because it always makes me feel very anxious and nervous, like I'm going to be upsetting someone or wasting their time or something like that. it's probably one of the biggest things that I can point at as being a single cause for anxiety for me, but especially this week I have a lot of phone calls to make and a lot of business to take care of, and there is no one who can do it for me. yesterday and today, I took one of my dissolvable Xanax and just sort of power through a few phone calls, but I'm ending up feeling exhausted and overwhelmed and probably not being able to make nearly as many calls as I should. I kind of don't want to have to take the Xanax every single day, and I'm already on hydroxyzine and buspirone daily as anxiety maintenance medications, so I'm just not sure if there's anything more that I could be doing, besides just popping a Xanax and trying to power through. I'm open for literally any advice, because of this rate I'm probably going to have a meltdown before the weekend gets here, or I finish all of my calls.

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AI-generated answer based on the text from previous posts and comments

Some people suggest writing down bullet points or a script of what you need to say during the phone call, which can help you stay focused and feel more prepared. Others recommend practicing the phone ...See More

tiredtarantula

Sometimes I write out general things I can say if I'm drawing a blank or kinda write down your intro so you can just look at that paper if you're struggling. I absolutely hate phone calls too.

verasama

I tends to take a lot of notes when I'm on the phone, which I always thought was an ADHD thing so I wouldn't forget anything, but now that I'm thinking about it I also think that it helps me remove myself from the anxiety of the call a little bit. And it really doesn't even matter what the call is, I feel mild anxiety when I'm about to call my best friend to see if she wants to hang out. It's just a much more obvious struggle when I have a week like this when I have a whole lot of phone calls that have to be made. I might try writing out my intro like you suggested, and see if that helps. I really appreciate it.

ApricotJam

I'm so sorry this is happening to you and it's making you feel this way! This is something I also really struggle with. I try to avoid making calls to the point where I end up paying termination fees etc because I'd rather cancel a direct debit and not have to explain why than spend time on the phone, in hold queues or repeating myself several times. I can't stand it, it makes me ill, drives my anxiety through the roof and sets me back further each time. I have tried to be more honest with people over the phone straight off and tell them about my extreme anxiety and neurodivrgence making me hate repeating myself and sometimes they understand and it's not so bad. I hope you find something that works for you 💕

verasama

I'm so sorry to hear that phone calls are that bad for you. I know that part of my problem is that I take care of my 80-year-old completely blind father, and even though I'm partially blind, it falls on me to do literally any calling that needs to be done. Scheduling appointments, contacting home insurance or home warranty whenever something needs repairing, a finding somebody to do installations etc around the house. All of it. And I can list those examples easily because those are the calls I've been making this week. We got a new dog door, and I need to find someone to install it, but I've been just sitting here looking at the Google search results for local businesses and feeling extremely overwhelmed. Right this moment, I've got this weird feeling like my skin is crawling on my scalp, or possibly like it's crawling inside my head. I know it's not actually doing either of those things, but it's that kind of feeling, and that's the best way I can put it. but yeah, hopefully we can both find something that helps us out with the phone call stress. Lol

BeetleBug

I totally get your pain, phone calls make me shut down and I would rather do almost anything than have to call someone. Other than scripting out my conversation, which someone already suggested, I try to make my environment as nice as possible to make it easier. I like to go outside and get some quiet space for myself with no distractions, and have various calming things to fidget with.

verasama

I make my calls during the day when it's fairly peaceful and quiet, with no distractions. At least, with very few distractions, considering I have two dogs and two cats. Lol I hadn't thought about using one of my fidgets while making these calls. Which, is kind of weird, because that's what I would do at work when I had to answer phones at the receptionist desk, or go to meetings, or whatever. Perhaps I will get out a few of them and see if any of them help while I try to make these phone calls. Thanks a lot for the suggestions. I appreciate it.

JumpingMouse

You deserve to be heard. You deserve to take up people's time with your calls. You deserve that. 💕

verasama

thank you. I'm going to try and repeat that to myself in between calls. Maybe it will help. I definitely appreciate the vote of confidence.❤️

pastelolly

I had to do volunteer work a few weeks ago, and they had me individually call senior citizens and remind them of something. It was so anxiety-inducing and awful to me, but it helped me learn something. Even if the phone call sucks and you feel awful during it, the person on the other end will not remember it. They won't remember your mistakes or your nervousness, they are just trying to get by. Even calling to schedule an appointment of ask a business a question or any phone call like that, that person is jus doing their job and will never think twice about whatever you have to say. It is anxiety inducing to make phone calls and it is always valid to feel that way, but just remember that the person on the other side does not see your anxiety -- they see another person. I also find it helpful to have something to fidget with.

verasama

thank you so, so much. It does kind of help to step back and remember that these people are just doing their job, and I'm not the first or last person they're going to talk to today. I also really do think I'm going to get out some of my fidgets and see if any of them help. Thanks so much!

verasama

Thanks, everyone, for all the great suggestions. I'm still feeling really anxious right now, because I just figured out that the time I spent looking up businesses a couple of days ago was completely wasted because that's not the sort of business I actually need, and I was feeling a little access anxiety because of that, but I think reading through all of your messages is really starting to help. I'm going to take a few minutes to ride out some of my talking points for the phone calls, and dig out a few of my fidgets to see if any of them help. I might also make some chamomile tea because that couldn't hurt anything. So thanks a lot. I'm hoping some of this will help. ❤️❤️❤️

ChoicelessHope

I know it's small but having something to squeeze really hard helps me a bit. I also have notes for talking points and if I feel shaky while they are talking I just mute my end so I can talk a few big loud breaths then unmute myself when it's my turn to talk. Honestly, the biggest thing has been the fact that like you, I have to make these calls or no one will so I've gotten used to that over the years. Still have anxiety over them but not as bad x

FatHammie

I have to write out something if I need to make a call. I really don't like making calls either, you aren't alone. It terrifies me. Even ordering a Chinese for delivery. I have to get my hubby to do the ordering. I feel so anxious.xx

verasama

Glad to see I'm not alone here. Thanks for all of the tips guys. I managed to get through that batch of calls, but I know I have some more coming up soon. Hopefully a few of these ideas will help me then as well.

The content in this post is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.

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Managing Anxiety While Making Phone Calls

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