I try to find a distraction like I have a harmonica which I don't know how to play but I'll say to myself you can't be sad your tears will rust the harmonica

I can relate to this. Honestly most of it I just flow with. It’s still just a part of my life and that’s fine. I just have to watch what I act on, be safe with myself and others. What helps with that is self awareness, so I’m feeling how I’m feeling, but if I want to do something, I have to be aware of what might be influencing it and what the consequences would be. But yeah, my emotions are my emotions, I can’t make them stop, I just have to learn how to roll with them