That every family has issues and help is available.

Short answer anything. We weren't allowed to talk about anything to do with that mental health growing up I didn't know that I was even having panic attacks until I was 18 and had one in front of a worker who asked me if I knew that I was having one because it was obvious I didn't know how to calm myself down. Years after I left home at 18 physically running from my mother with her chasing me I found out that she was diagnosed with bipolar after I was already an adult. This means that my entire upbringing she was undiagnosed untreated bipolar with tendencies to be physically and mentally abusive. I ended up adopting several survival skills to cope with the challenges of day-to-day life. And a lot of the time I would just accept how things were. She didn't buy me any hygiene products I got severely bullied by my peers and teachers. I accepted it. I walked over a mile each way carrying a bag of her clothes and I put only one of my shirts in the bag so I can wear something clean for a change. I ended up getting a pile of chores to do when I got home and wasn't able to sneak the shirt out of the bag so when she found it I got my ass beat. She didn't have money to waste on making sure I had clean clothes she needed clean clothes for work. But then every time a teacher or another adult would bring up to her that it was obvious I was wearing dirty clothes and not bathing she told them it was my fault that I refuse to. And then when I got home from school if the nurse called her to tell her this then she be waiting at the door with a belt telling me that I went to the nurse crying making up lies. When one I knew not to say anything and two they call me down there because other students would complain about the way I smelled so they could get away with not doing their work saying that they couldn't concentrate. And I know that this was just an excuse that it wasn't truth because some of the students weren't even in my class. Meaning that the staff didn't even check. I always gave the same story I told them I had a cat that must have peed on my clothes even though they were clean before and that I just forgot to shower. The way I saw it was we had CYS come out a few times a year. After they would visit my mother would always be super angry and in a mood where she wanted to hurt me my siblings but even the one time we did get taken it was after several visits. I knew this meant that if I told the truth to any adult even if CYS was willing to do something it was going to take time and in the meantime I would be getting beaten for telling the truth. So I accepted it I anticipated what she needed and I became her idea of a perfect child. I slept on the couch but we lied even though all the rooms were rented out to people on Craigslist my mother would make it clear to the roommates that they had to not be there when CYS came and we just claim that they were our bedrooms. I didn't have space belongings privacy. I did what I had to do and I constantly focused on the fact that I could leave when I turned 18. And I really didn't care what happened to me as long as I got out of that house. I need that as long as I was a minor I couldn't fight and I couldn't leave. I know this next Tanger doesn't really apply to the post but I feel like after the sad story I need to give more information. It does have a happy ending I live alone I don't talk to anyone in my family because they're all toxic. In little by little I'm taking the time to enjoy my life and live for myself. I worked hard to get into a situation where I don't have to have a job or income. I paid all my bills for over a year. I'm getting my GED my next step is to take free online computer skill courses and not pay for certificate just so when I reenter the workforce I have that leg up. I don't have much many people see how I live and think of me as the simplest or minimalist. Compared to a trash bag full of clothes that don't fit me from my cousin who is just under your younger than me and sleeping on a couch I feel like I have too much stuff now. And I'm finally starting to love my life.

That it is okay to seek help for family members too. My sister has been chronically unwell for far too long and my family would just sweep it under the carpet. I am finally getting her help, which she appreciates, but it's so long standing she isn't likely to have a drastic improvement. She has had a rough life because my family were afraid to act, afraid of the mental health system.

That I shouldn't be ashamed of my mental health issues

I shouldn't go it alone but I do

It's not your parents fault

Everything

My parents aren’t not role models

That so many different things have anxiety and depression like symptoms

To tell the doctor I was having hallucinations and not keep it secret like my dad said I had to.

That it's ok to have a mental illness and that I shouldn't hide and be ashamed of it. I was raised by parents who grew up in Mexico and they see mental illnesses as a sign of weakness

I just wish it was explained to me earlier. I’ve always had anxiety and it was very severe as a kid. In elementary school it would have been so helpful to understand what it was.

Growing up in primary school from grade 3-6, when I switched into homeschool, I was told that people my age don't cry. I had no safe place to have an autistic meltdown. At home my parents thought I was mimicking my younger brothers autism for attention. I did at one time have seperation anxiety, however, any 3-year-old that is forced into all day everyday kindergarten would have that same experience. I wish I knew that it was perfectly normal to cry.