I'm in a very similar situation. I've tried surgery, a VNS, ECT, and medication with no luck. The only thing I haven't tried is ketamine and TMS so I have been weighing the costs and the benefits of those options.

I’ve been wondering about ketamine as well and the benefits for bipolar. Definitely interested in hearing anyones experience!

Hiiii. Sorry I didn’t realize this was a post of some sort BUT I thought I’d comment and see if this is helpful to anyone! I’ve been depressed and suicidal on and off for ten years—I’ve tried so many medications and therapy and have had little improvement. Finally my doctor and therapist pulled out the “big guns” of ketamine and TMS (transcranial magnetic stimulation), and they worked. They have been LIFE CHANGING. My PHQ-9 went from a 20 to a 2 in two months. For those of you wondering, I did six IV sessions of ketamine. I did about two sessions a week for three weeks and then started TMS daily for 28 days until I got Covid and had to get back to work in another state. The recommended number of TMS sessions is 36 according to my provider. After IV ketamine, my doctor decided to continue with intranasal ketamine for me—initially every day, but now three days a week. Again, both have significantly improved my quality of life and specifically my depression and suicidal symptoms. If you feel like nothing has worked—please talk to your doctor about these. I sincerely hope you can find what works for you ❤️

Oh I should also say it was very expensive but worth every penny. My insurance covered a portion of it but I still paid about $5k for both treatments. But honestly I wish I had done it years ago. This is what has worked for me. My doctors tell me I have about a year and a half of remission and then I’ll have to likely do booster sessions of IV ketamine and TMS. But I’ll do it every time. So worth it. I feel like a new person, with a new start and new chance at life.

I’ve been get tms treatment for the past 3 weeks and I definitely feel a huge difference, it’s worth it if you can afford it or have insurance