i was the most relieved i’ve ever been when i discovered what ocd was and that there were other people that felt the way that i did and it was a clinically diagnosed issue/there was treatment. it is not strange at all, it is so so comforting. - unfortunately ocd is known as the doubting disorder for a reason, you question everything about yourself to the point where questioning whether you even have ocd can become it’s own obsession. if you’re not in it already, please seek out exposure and response therapy, it is the golden standard treatment for ocd and regular talk therapy is proven to NOT work. ofc if you have other mental health issues (anxiety depression etc…) then you can use the two in conjunction. - lastly, the best way would be to ask for referrals from your psychologist/therapist and/or look them up through your insurance so you can make sure you have coverage. - i hope this helps! good luck on your journey, it can be a long road but remember: recovery isn’t always linear. there will be ups and downs, but you’re still going forward <3 you will get through this.

oh and feel free to dm if you have anymore questions or you just want to talk! i have had obsessions/compulsions since the age of 7 and went 13 years without a diagnosis because of the shame and misconception that surrounds this disorder. so i gotchu <3

I recommend seeing an OCD specialist and I recommend against seeing a generalist about your OCD. As my old therapist said, generalists just don't have enough training with OCD to give the best advice. They think people can just talk through it and make the thoughts go away, but it's not that simple. OCD is basically having tons of conspiracy theories pop in your head all day, but they all sound so confident that you think you have no choice but to believe them. It's not easy to work through, and it's impossible to make the thoughts go away entirely because almost everyone has intrusive thoughts. The difference for us is that we believe them. And that's from our brain chemistry and life experiences, not who we are. Try to find someone who uses CBIT as a treatment as well. That is one of the most effective treatments for OCD. Since OCD is from us viewing our intrusive thoughts as threats, CBIT helps because it gradually teaches you that they aren't. It's also done in such a way that you can actually believe it, too. It can be emotionally taxing at times, but it does help in the long run. (That's just my recommendation, though. You know what works for you better than everyone, and you shouldn't force yourself through a type of treatment that doesn't work for you. I speak only based on data I've seen and my personal experience.) All that said, don't stop going to a therapist about non-OCD stuff. I think my short time in therapy would have been more effective if I addressed more than just my OCD because pretty much every aspect of my life contributes to it. You may be struggling a lot with OCD, but you shouldn't stop getting help for other things. As a final note, I want to tell you that you are not weird or bad for having intrusive thoughts. It doesn't matter how obscure your thoughts are - you are not your thoughts and you are not alone with them. We're all here for you.