I wish I could help but my son is in heaven. I wish you the best for you and your son.

I am 8 months pregnant right now and totally lost without my meds. I feel your pain

Stick with your recovery and your child will never know you as that person. Hit meetings, get a sponsor, hang out with like minded people to your personal goals. #recoverysister

Yes yes yes ❤️ I can't stress enough how crazily different my life is right now from 18 months ago, and how grateful I am. After 10+ years of substance and alcohol abuse I went to a rehab in a different city, initially for 3 months. 5 weeks before I went I was supposed to go to a different place, but tried to end my life and so was in hospital so I couldn't go. Self sabotage loud and clear, I genuinely believed I'd be better off dead than try and fail at another rehab. But I got to rehab, eventually. When I was there, I slept with another resident and only went and got pregnant 😂 jokes aside, I have a history of unstable, codependent and usually toxic relationships, so the staff at the rehab were worried to say the least. But I took it as a sign, to live and try to be the best person I could be for my son. I ended up staying in rehab for 6 months, rebuilt my relationship with my family, and now I love with my 8 month old boy and his dad, who is also in recovery. It hasn't been easy, at all. But my god it's worth it! Good luck!