I have this exact same problem. almost broke up with him 2 years ago, almost broke up with him last year, and them again about a month ago. this is my first serious relationship and I'm terrified that it's not right and that I'm meant to be with someone else. but how do I know? commitment is scary and sometimes I fantasize about being alone again but everytime I leave him I just crave him. I hope we figure it out.

I’ve recently been diagnosed with dependent anxiety disorder which results in an increased panic at the thought of being alone/partner-less. It has caused ups and downs in my current relationship too. Diagnoses anxiety in general can make relationships just as challenging. Communicating with your partner about your needs and doing your best to explain your anxieties can really help. If communication is lacking do your best to open the doors for an open conversation. It can be really scary and confusing, especially if you aren’t sure what you want. Having an open conversation can help you both figure out what you need. Whether that be to continue the relationship with additional boundaries and/or communication. Or whether that is to end the relationship.

It sounds to me like this relationship has parts for you that are working and those that definitely aren't. My husband and I have been together for 10 years now and we have absolutely had our moments - but the best thing for our relationship was actually quarantine; our relationship got better because the forced prolonged togetherness made us learn to communicate better. Amongst other things, I learned to try to consider his end of things better before getting angry and he learned the importance of listening. Given that you can't exactly invent a quarantine to work on this issue, maybe something like couples therapy could be a good avenue for opening up lines of communication so you can both take a serious look at yourselves, what you have, and whether you see a future together.

I do the same thing to my husband. I feel like I'm just being a burden to him. But I have found that communication is what helps me. I let him know that I'm having a not so good day and that I'm stressed or depressed or whatever I may be feeling and most of the time it helps just so he is prepared for anything that I do to happen. I'm always here if you want to talk.

I go through this too with my bi polar 2 and my anger issues. My husband and I will fight and I saw awful things and then he does too and it makes us fight more. I have never doubted he loves me...and I know I love him and want to be with him. I just don't know how to fix my emotional issues. I'm on meds and just had them adjusted so we will see. I wish you luck. If you need to talk I'm here.