I’m glad you are out of the abusive home! I was in a very similar situation myself and I wasn’t really able to process and move on until I removed myself from that environment. It is a very big change that happens as sadly our brains get so used to the drama and abuse, it almost feels off when that stuff isn’t happening to us. I really hope you can work through it with your boyfriend! I also hope that me and you can get this dissociation under control! It’s definitely a challenge to live with, I can’t imagine driving as a job right now with all the visuals I get! I guess we are doing our best in trying and that’s all we really can do sometimes!

Oh just thought of it, if you were talking about the dissociation getting worse as time goes on without treatment, I would say it goes in ups and downs. I’ve been keeping a journal and count the amount of days my dissociation effects my day to day life to the point things become difficult. Here are my numbers: Monthly Dissociation Days 11/2021 3 episodes 12/2021 15 episodes 1/2022 2 episodes (low writing) 2/2022 5 episodes (low writing) 3/2022 19 episodes 4/2022 15 episodes 5/2022 17 episodes 6/2022 11 episodes 7/2022 10 episodes (low writing) 8/2022 11 episodes (low writing) 9/2022 27 episodes 10/2022 25 episodes 11/2022 14 episodes My traumatic event happened on the 30th of September in 2021. I didn’t start dissociating until November of that year, so that’s why it starts there. As you can tell, I have been having a massive spike in the past few months for two main reasons I would assume. One is that my trauma happened in the months of September and October, and I was also working 2 jobs at once as I was financially struggling and I was working about 50-75 hours a week for a while there. Also, the ones with low writing are there because those are most likely not an accurate count. I shut down a lot in those periods and those are the confirmed amount of days I was out. Maybe this helps your curiosity lol. Good question!