For me, when it’s depression: less suicidal thoughts, more attachment to life ( school, family, work). More energy and things that I once liked slowly become more enjoyable. I have desire to continue and be ambitious. I don’t cry excessively or try to hurt myself. Signs things hit the fan: constant thoughts of suicide and self harm. Agitation and hating the world and things in it. Resistance to doing homework and skills in therapy. Sleep is disturbed. Eating too much to fill a gap or not eating anything. For each person, it is a little different, so finding the signs your mind and body communicates to you is important

When it comes to borderline, it is really hard to tell. I try to measure it by how well I am doing with my friends/family plus how long or how short I have SI.

For my BPD- it is about handling attachment issues in an effective way or less destructive way from the past. For example, in the past, if I was triggered that someone might/will leave me, I would SH and just be obsessively attached to the person. I was not accepting that in life people come and go. I had severe SI. I’m better now, the same trigger is there but what is different is how I handle the situation, instead of being destructive and miserable, I be my own teacher/therapist and keep pressuring myself to use the skills I was taught in therapy. I RESIST the urge to act upon what my BPD is telling me. For people with BPD, we are inherently sensitive from birth and we will always be like that but therapy can help us reduce the intensity of the sensitivity and create a shield against what’s painful in life. Hope this helps, feel free to privately chat with me if you have any questions!