I'm here for you

The first step is always awareness. I see that you don't want to be negative. That you feel bad but want to change how you feel. And that's amazing!! For me the next step was being aware of those thoughts in the moment. When I'm around friends and have those thoughts come up I used to Only be aware of the feelings they brought. But with practice I was able to be aware of the thoughts themselves. Then I started working on pushing back on that negative thinking, being kinder to myself and using "reframing" to help myself change. Which is really difficult but I am so much happier now.