One way of doing is seeing how many neurodivergent friends you have because neurodivergent people travel in packs.

Thats a totally understandably frustrating to find the limitations of the diagnosis. Ok think the necessity of the diagnosis really peaks at if there is a particular use you are looking for ex. Getting accomodations at work or school when you dont have something else that qualifies you for the accomodation(s). I find that beyond formality, the autistic community tends to be welcoming most of the time for people with similar challenges and lived experience. Atleast for me I find talking about experience more than diagnosis helpful. I used to lean on it as a crutch/excuse of oh this or that was because I was autistic. I can get similar effect when I say yeah, i struggle with __. Usually that struggle can be shared by multiple identities which can make it easier to relate (and potentially protects sensitive info). I find the community is trying to bridge differences, normalize the differences in neurodiversity/neural divergency. There are just so many similarities with anxiety, depression, ptsd, adhd etc. It can also be used as a request for accomodation as well "is it ok if I do x, because I struggle with y (potentially due to ASD or something) but it puts experience first which people cant argue with, and then the condition that potentially predisposes you to that challenge.

I also found it very frustrating to get a diagnosis. I had multiple doctors tell me "it's probably autism, but I would put it in writing because you're too social" which is very invalidating and sad because you know yourself better than anyone, and doctors cant always see when that mask isn't on. My advice would be life as if that is the reality for you, tell those you trust that this is probably a thing for you, and keep faith. I was just diagnosed right at my 21st birthday. For me, I explained what I was feeling to my medication provider and she referred me to someone in-network that specialized in diagnosing autism and she was very kind and knew all about how difficult diagnoses can be. It's a hard journey for sure :(

Nerodivergent friends I had people say that they thought I was

I was 17 years old when I was diagnosed with Autism