I've been living with something similar for over 20 years. For social anxiety I've learned to force myself to converse. It's difficult at first but if we keep running from it it'll only get worse. It gets easier the more you do it. For my other anxiety I found cannabis has helped immensely. It helps keep me calm and reduces the negative thoughts preventing me from enjoying life. If that's an option I suggest taking your time in finding the right dose for yourself. I also suggest trying meditation. Meditation has helped me learn to better control my thoughts. Though overwhelming at first, eventually with practice you learn to notice the negative thoughts and brush them off easier. The problem is allowing the thoughts to remain and even indulge in them. Learning to notice them and pushing them aside is the most difficult thing I've ever done. Simply because at the beginning stages they will overwhelm you while you attempt to meditate. Since you are used to allowing them to run rampant its difficult trying to put a leash around them. But eventually you will. Although every now and them some break their leash and run around. It happens but things get easier.

Socializing be ame much easier for me when I figured out the right setting for me to socialize. I find going to a walmart petrifying, but going to my local renaissance festival exhilarating and fun, despite the crowds. I know, Im a nerd. Its okay, ren faire people are generally all pretty nice and laid back. Anyways, thats my place I feel safe to socialize. What are YOU into? What activities or hobbies do you enjoy? Maybe you like video games?Or one of the sports balls things? Maybe you're into knitting? Or I don't know 😂 Whatever it is you're into, there's a community for that and a space where they gather. That's where yiu should socialize. In a space where everyone there shares a common interest with you. Its easier to get a conversation going or even continue one, when you have an easy topic that everyone is interested in together. Just talk more about that *thing* Its still hard, but I find it much easier and dare I say it, even kind of look forward to it sometimes. Best of luck to you 💜