It’s all about ATTITUDE! I’ve struggled with that too but not about weight. I’ve been publicly body shamed and insulted. I think some 15 year old kid called me a fat bitch once and he NEVER DID IT AGAIN! I don’t put up with that crap. Remember this, God created and He sees a beautiful person. So do I. So quit insulting yourself and Him. Love is something we all need if your family loves you, praise Jesus. I don’t apologize for my faith, that’s just me not trying to push it on you. I wouldn’t dare! Here’s something to consider, sometimes we are our own worst enemy and it’s not always satanic as in the disgraced angel everyone knows as Lucifer or Satan. But if you feel like that self hatred is coming from anywhere else, that’s how Lucifer works and sometimes he’ll try to deceive you and make you think that it’s coming from you. If not, then you need to change the your attitude about yourself. Take charge and pitch the rotten attitude in the garbage. The depression, that can be changed by more than 1 thing, change of diet, getting out of the house for a walk, ( vitamin D3 from the sun helps and so would good vegetarian based vitamin D3. I’m not a expert, just stuff I learned. ) 🙏🏻and. I love you too hon. Just keep going. Also don’t let others mess with you on the phone, internet or to your face, people are unpredictable and sometimes you have to learn how to make sure your attitude is healthy so that pulls the rug out from under them to be mean.