i have this exact problem. idk how to address it. maybe therapy?

I have this problem as well. You’re not alone

Absolutely. I lost a ton of ton of weight in a really unhealthy, obsessive way and gained most of it back in an equally unhealthy way. Right now I'm trying to take it one day at a time and not looking at food as something to punish myself for or binge on. I know it won't fill the void but sometimes it's hard to believe that in the moment. One day at a time, one meal at a time. If you eat something you feel bad about try not to berate yourself for failing. You didn't fail, you stumbled and that's okay. Instead of logging your food try journaling about your emotions that surround food for you. When you lose weight whether unhealthy or not people applaud you, when you gain it's all side-eye and judgement. The important thing is how you feel about you. These are all things I've discussed with my therapist, if you have the resources I'd definitely suggest that as well. Working to find the underlying issues and emotions. And if you need a friend that understands and is on the same journey you're absolutely free to message me. It's tough, but I believe in you.

Thanks everyone, it helps to know other people have this problem too (though I’m sorry you do). I actually feel like people were more concerned when I was losing weight, but now that I’m gaining weight (which bothers me more) family and my therapist are less concerned, which is frustrating. Trying to take it one day at a time but I feel like I’m moving backwards.

Yeah actually this happened to me as well I restricted most of my high school years and was underweight and then met my now fiancé and started binging to cope so he wouldn’t notice my strange eating habits. Eventually it just caused a relapse a year later and I was back down to my starting weight. It is a vicious cycle sometimes and it’s hard but talking to someone really does help . Message me if you need to talk 😊

I am exactly the same. I struggle with binge eating daily. People don’t understand it’s the same pain as anorexia they just can’t see you being physically sick. It’s frustrating but the best thing for me is therapy and meal prep.