LORT I IDENTIFY WITH SO MUCH HERE !!
So, Melatonin == sleep paralysis, period full-stop end-of-story. I started it once when I was having some more severe problems getting to sleep than usual (~ 4-5 nights slept/week for ~20 years, so, it was bad) and I had at least one instance of sleep paralysis (mine are always murderous situations too never benign nor low-key) every night that whole week. Looked it up and sure enough there's a correlative link. Stopped taking it and they stopped immediately.
That's not to say I haven't had one since, but yeah there was definitely a cause-effect relationship.
I literally sleep like the dead.
In my life history I have slept through two (2) tornadoes which took out the building next door (Midwest shite). Neither one of them did i ever wake for a second, one was in a room full of teenage girls because we just moved a friend into a new apartment in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Didn't wake to the cacophony of screams and Nature, but I awoke the next morning to the smell of French toast and quoted Jay & Silent Bob "I'm hoooongry, where can we get some breeekfast?" to the surprise of everyone who actually thought I might be dying somehow 😅
People literally think I'm dead when I'm asleep, sometimes I literally don't move and my limbs are asleep when I wake, and don't even start to receive pins and needles for at least 10 minutes. Literally paralyzed, I'm flopping one arm around with the other so I can get around my room get to the bathroom and actually urinate.
So, along with that, I've shared the experience of "either I don't dream at all, or it is slasher movie-murderous, violent nightmares which I often awake from yelling something I cannot remember, sweating, with my heart rate extremely escalated, then get a POTS rish from sitting up and sometimes pass back out.
Trust, I'd rather no dreams than those dreams.
Then, over the course of this last year I did a whoooooooole lot of Shadow work. I found a way to forgive my abusive father for leaving us and making some of the choices he did, and to forgive myself for many things in order to move on.
The nightmares stopped.
This was within a month or 2 of being put on meds for mental health for the first time ever (Vyvanse) and it seemed to also wipe away the regret of coming back to Life in the morning, much of my treatment-resistant depression, my threahold for frustration and unforseen change was raised considerably, my attention soan is nearly back to what it used to be, and I'm on a sleep SCHEDULE where I sleep nightlyyyyy now! It completely changed my life.
So I can't be certain if i was just in a period between nightmares when I started it, and that the Vyvanse actually put the kabosh on them, or what.
One thing I do know, is that psychiatrists seem to unanimously agree that nightmares come from unhealed personal trauma, and until you face it your subconscious will continue to scream it at you all night long, in the worst of ways, trying to make the message louder and clearer until you acknowledge it.